Really this is what you think???
Man I just finished up my mid terms for my second year at seminary and it was dope b/c it was almost like a week vacation b/c I only had one exam. But somehow it made me lazy and I didn't study like I normally do, and today is Monday and I have 3 classes tomorrow and I found myself all scatter brained and having MAD ADD! It only took one lazy week to throw me off my grind. Its crazy how habits keep you going, or prevent you from going.
Anyways the main point of this blog is I can't concentrate right now so I decided to let my thoughts free. Maybe I have too many thoughts bottled up in my mind and I just need to let them out so new ones can come in and process. Being in Seminary, I take a lot of Theology classes which basically ask the hard questions in faith and basically in in LIFE!
I learned that faith is not an approach to a religion. It's an approach after LIFE! Its a pursuit of LIFE. They say God is the creator of life, and I completely agree. It's just we have this messed up idea of Who or What God is. Im not gonna go into that today b/c that's a whole hour discussion in of itself. But I really just wanted to air out some thoughts I have about my self.
In the past year that I enrolled in seminary people have been looking at me or treating me differently. Im not even a pastor, or an ordained official for the "Church" yet the way people see me and treat me has changed just b/c im in school. I mean its not like we treat people differently b/c they enrolled into law school or they are going after their masters in business. But for some reason b/c God is involved in my education people think iv'e randomly metamorphed into some holy spiritual being. But my friends will tell you im still the same dumb, chill, temptation fighting person I have always been. Even at church before I had an official position there the kids saw me as an older brother but now they treat me a little differently because I am the Jundo...
Just b/c Im in school or the religious system decided to put a title on me doesn't mean somehow my whole molecular and intellectual structure miraculously changed... All the sudden I can't be around conversations that talk about sex? or violence? Certain people want to crack jokes about me having virgin eyes/ears? Really Im a born again virigin??? People can't be honest and tell me how they really feel b/c all the sudden im going to judge them and condemn them to hell? Im the same dude, and I always will be, Im just pursuing after LIFE! I want more out of my life, I want a deeper understanding of my existence. I feel like pastors in the past have created a fake non genuine image of themselves and that's the way people perceive them to be. It's not real, its not genuine, its the greatest disguise an hoax in the world b/c we won't let them be free, have problems, and admit sins. Just b/c there in a position of faith doesn't make them perfect, we gotta stop putting these unrealistic expectations on them. Yes they are called to a higher standard but lets keep it 100.... Let's not forget there still human....
I don't know, We make too much Hocus Pocus out of Christianity and God. To me its not so mystical and over spiritual. God created life, so how is it that we can't imagine God being life itself, and more importantly Love... Not the Notebook/Twilight/50 first dates kind of love, I mean Love that makes life worth living, and Love that keeps the spirits of Man Alive.
TEK-316-RuR
